3 Social Media Parody Applications to Lighten the Mood

When it comes to the business of social media, we don’t have near as much fun as we should. For an industry that runs on time honored traditions such as “Caturday” and sharing planking pictures, the business side can be really monotonous. Aside from the constant stream of affirmations and inspirational quotes flowing through your Twitter stream, you’re constantly bombarded by news of privacy invasion, a sinking Facebook stock price, and the latest bath salts episode.

 

It can get really depressing; and then there are all your depressed Facebook friends. Sometimes I log on to get cheered up, and end up counseling my friends list on whether Prozac or Lexapro is better for a breakup.

 

Even though calculating last month’s ROI or updating your WordPress widgets isn’t considered fun in most circles, I think that blogging, discussing, and practicing social media can be quite the riot. Ok, it might not be as fun as Farmville, but these fun social media apps can give you a reprieve from irate customer tweets and trackback spam, if only for a little while.

 

Klouchebag

It’s fairly safe to say that Klout is one of the most hated social media brands that hasn’t been chased out of San Francisco yet (or where ever they grow social media startups these days). You start off by placing a value on thousands of social media users who have spent the last few years trying NOT to compare themselves to their counterparts. Then you throw in random fluctuations, an algorithm no one understands, and poor customer service. Still, Klout has never called you a douchebag.

 

It’s only because the tweeting public’s hatred for Klout that our first app, Klouchebag, has become a fan favorite. Klouchebag looks at your tweets and rates users across four categories that average tweeters consider an annoyance: Anger, Re-Tweet abuse, social app use, and English misuse. It counts up your infractions, and tells you just how much of a Klouchebag you are.

 

 

 

Users are gladly visiting the site to be told why they suck at Twitter, and they couldn’t be happier. After all, Klout has been telling you that you’ve been doing something wrong for months now; at least Klouchebag puts it in terms you can understand. Well, every user except me. It turns out that I am the nicest guy on Twitter (who would have thought?), and with a Klouchebag score of 13, I visit the site daily to remind myself how every single social media user (except ol’ dad) is a douchebag, and I am the light. If you want to know how to be nice, use proper English, re-tweet correctly and avoid social apps, I’m here all night folks!

 

Silly Twitter Bio

Since the day I used my first hash tag, I have been disappointed in my Twitter bio. With only 160 characters to sum up my life story, I rarely make it past telling users my Klouchebag score (which I’m lobbying to become the NEW standard in influence) before I get stopped up by some weird Twitter black magic from adding any more characters. Then I see someone who is a “Lion Tamer” or a “Unicorn Rancher” or “Charlie Sheen’s stunt double”, and I realize that I’m just not interesting enough to be Twitter Winner.

 

Then I found the application that gave Charlie Sheen’s stunt double all of his power. Silly Twitter Bio puts all the different aspects of a real winner in just the right order to make you look like a demi god, while still keeping it under 160 characters. When I first found the Silly Twitter Bio tool I immediately changed my own Twitter bio. Then I played with the bio generator for about an hour, until it got old… then I changed my own bio back.

 

 

So even if it doesn’t quite generate the Twitter bio you’re looking for, it’s a fun way to kill about 20 minutes.

 

Worth of Web

Sometimes I start reading about how other bloggers that have 100 times as many readers as I do complain about not doing well enough. The realities of blogging are harsh, and knowing that a large blog isn’t happy with their business makes my pitiful little gains seem like I’m in the business of selling ice to Eskimos. Even my outrageously robust Klouchebag score doesn’t even bring my self-esteem back to the tree-tops, where it usually hovers. Despair is contagious.

 

If you ever need to be re-assured of your website’s success, I suggest checking out the Worth of Web website appraiser. When I keyed in the address of Social Media Sun, the six-figure valuation it gave me reminded me that I’m a winner. I went straight to the credit union and asked for a loan. When I offered up my “Worth of Web” as collateral, the loan officer threatened to call the cops. It was a hard way to learn that the worth of web appraisal is slightly inflated.

 

 

Ok, to keep you from making a fool of yourself too, I’m going to give you the low-down; the Worth of Web appraisal is downright ridiculous. The statistics were inflated, the estimates were inflated, and the formula they are using gives you a couple grand right off the bat for owning your own domain. It’s like writing your name on the SAT and getting an automatic 300. The truth is, if your website isn’t profitable or have obvious resale value, you’ll have a hard time selling it for anything.

 

I hope you guys have fun with these three web gems. The most interesting thing about these properties are the minds behind them, so look up their creators if you want to find some more cool Internet stuff. Watch out though, the Internet can be a fantastic time suck if you find the coolest things it has to offer, so you may be better off reading from the Yahoo! slider and some more articles about how to get more Twitter followers. Just kidding! I know nobody reads from the Yahoo! slider.

 

What kind of score did you get on Klouchebag? I’d love to hear about anyone who beat me, or was given an incredibly bad score. What about the value of your blog? Any millionaires in our midst?